"Letters to the Love Guru"


The Love Guru is here to answer your questions

How do you get closer to your crush if you aren’t really friends with them or their friend circle?

The world is small! Maybe find a friend-of-a-friend that can be your ‘in’ to hanging out with them during a free period or something. You can do a bit of digging and find clubs/weekend activities that they’re interested in and show up to those. If all else fails, no shame in being the occasional instagram story replier. 


Why do boys only want to hookup and not date? Buy me frozen yogurt my tongue was just down your throat. Thanks.

Ahahaha. Commitment is scary for a lot of people and the fear of breaking up stops so many highschoolers from dating in the first place. That being said, avoid casual hookups if you want a relationship and be friends first before jumping into anything!


How do I grow the confidence to ask someone out of my league out?

Nobody is out of your league! Building confidence is a long and worthwhile road. First steps are eliminating negative self talk and getting to know yourself (for me journaling and time in the mirror do the trick). It also requires unbelievable amounts of honesty with yourself, and, if you can, some conversations with a counselor/therapist. 


Does size really matter and if it does what's the right size...?

It completely depends on the person! Learning what your partner likes and what you can offer is most important and can be a great way to get closer to each other. 


I've liked this guy for a long time. We were friends at one point and he seemed interested in me at times but we're not as close anymore. I'm mostly over him, but when we talk, I definitely still feel something. I also can't seem to really like anyone else. I'm trying to move on and I guess my questions are how long is too long to like someone and how do I fully get over him?

Still liking him is completely normal and I imagine the fact that you never 100% knew how he felt about you added to the whole situation. Anyway, I would need to know more to give you an exact time frame for how long is too long but you’ll only get over him after letting yourself feel the full extent of those emotions. You’ll know when it's time to stop sitting in those feelings and move on when your thoughts on the situation are redundant (or if you’re anything like me, you’re done crying). From there, keep yourself busy! Spend time with friends or learn something new! 


there's this girl that i like. she's really funny, smart, pretty, and has an amazing sense of style. i like her, but i know that she doesn't have the same kind of feelings, because whenever i'm around her i don't know what to say. like, i normally can hold a conversation pretty well, and i'm not funny at all but i can normally joke around. but like,,, i never know what to say to make her like me or not come off as weird. we have a few classes together, but we're not really in the same friend group. also, she likes a sophomore who like is a lot more of "a catch" i guess?? like compared to him i'm worse than sage food. ik this entire paragraph is FULL of cringe, but, what should i do?? should i move on??? or should i shoot my shot and potentially ruin our kinda friendship???

Nobody is out of your league! The classes you have together are a great place to start conversation and don’t worry so much about “making her like” you with every sentence. You might have to have that cliche moment with yourself of hyping yourself up in the mirror before approaching her and that’s fine. It works to your benefit that you’re not in the same friend group -far less drama- trust me!


i had a crush on my ex-best friend for three years because we used to snowboard together before we grew apart. we drifted apart slowly because i let my feelings get in the way of our friendship so i made it awkward. honestly, i kind of just miss my friend but i don't know whether or not to try to be just friends again. i still see my friend at family gatherings when we go up to maine in the winter and it feels so weird because our families still talk but we can't even hold a full conversation. i also have so many unanswered questions to ask and sometimes i really do miss the friendship. should i let it go, try to start a new friendship, or attempt to pick up back from where i left off?

I don’t think you should abandon the friendship, but there’s no “picking back up” where you left off. You might have to backtrack a little bit to get to know each other and that’s okay! Meanwhile, keep in mind that your past friendship isn’t a benchmark for your budding one. 


Hey, so I've been talking to this boy for about a month. But, we were talking last year, and it just fell off. I like him a lot. I lowkey want to ask him to be my boyfriend, but I also want him to do it because if he asks me then I know he wants to be in a relationship. I don't want to rush anything, but what if he's waiting on me? What if he isn't even thinking about a relationship? I don't know.

You really like him and based on the fact that you two rekindled things after a year makes me think he feels the same way. The only way you’ll know for sure that he wants a relationship is to ask. But, what I’m seeing in your question is genuine consideration for his feelings and a little bit of very cute nervousness. Some hints he may have already given you is talking about the near and distant future and prioritizing the time you have together. Above all else, trust your intuition꞉ are you picturing a future? 


Do you think astrology has anything to do with compatibility?

I love this question! I personally don’t because how your astrology placements manifests in your life is dependent on your personality and self awareness. 


Hey I am a Caucasian male and I have recently started to develop attraction towards Asian females. Is that normal? 

Hi, first I would like to say that it is completely normal to be attracted to be outside of your race. What you should look into is the difference between attraction and fetishization.